3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
