We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
