hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
