And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
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