Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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