I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
