rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
