I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
