i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
