marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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