I hate your face
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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