Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
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