I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
