you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
