I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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