Screwed.edu
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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