my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
