that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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