he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
