I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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