"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
how can u be prego again
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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