there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
