your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
