I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
