I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
