Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
