Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I wish I only lived at night.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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