Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I am spending my child support on dildos
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
