We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
