So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize