he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
