I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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