Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
