What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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