I think i peed on brittanys purse
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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