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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
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