just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
