saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Randomize
