just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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