You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I AM VODKA MAN
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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