no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
