try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i love accidental penises.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
