Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
