I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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