I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
