So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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