What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
