oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
