im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
A bitchslap is in order.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
