Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
she pinky promised me she was 18
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize