my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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