She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
