so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize