So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
