Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
