no, he came in my armpit
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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