I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Randomize
