all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
